Real reason why ‘the pandemic’ irks me


Last year, a 75 year old man came to see me for a colonic. On a general health scale of one-to-ten, David was about a 2, as a guy generally plagued with multiple maladies. He suffered from back pain and mentioned he was taking hard core opiates daily and now he was having issues where he couldn’t urinate, despite feeling like he needed to.  His doctor recommended a surgical procedure because the pharmaceutical drug he was taking for it was not helping at all.

Colon hygienists are not medically trained and the law is very clear about who can say what.  We live in a free country, but I’ve known for a long time there is no free speech when it comes to medicine.  The recent censure on social media represents just the tip of the iceberg of the medical control Americans have been under for your entire life, even if you are 100.  So I always make it very clear to people that I am legally prevented from diagnosis, treatment of illness, the act of prescribing, and that my customers are called clients, never “patients,” which is trademarked.

“Get off your opiates,” is something I could never say to a client. Or, “Don’t let those doctors start carving on your prostate!”  Anyway, I believe this is what what happening to David.  They were carving on his prostate.

The other variable is that I don’t know how people FIND ME.  I haven’t advertised in twenty years and I honestly couldn’t tell you how David found me.  Thus, clients come and clients go, because I don’t put people on “programs,” because people don’t follow programs, let’s be real.  I expected to assist David once or twice and never hear from him again.

But he has continued to phone me, I’d estimate fifteen times over the past year.  He pays me $65 and from start to finish, his sessions run ninety minutes.  During the colonic, he drifts in and out of sleep.  I have to help him get his socks on, help him get off the table, help him lower himself onto the toilet, where he’ll sit for fifteen minutes.  And we often will chat afterwards about anything.


David doesn’t own a cell phone, so he will call and leave me a message.  Sometimes when I return his call, his wife answers.  She knows who I am because David and she have discussed colonics and she absolutely opposes it.  She asks me “who is calling,” and then proceeds to puff a lot of hot air in my direction.  I mean, she SIGHS.

David describes his wife’s absolute love, loyalty and care for him and what she doesn’t know is that I am on the other end assisting her husband in every way possible.  What I see is a strong beast of a man who is about six foot, four, and a former basketball coach, living out the last days of his life.  He knows it.  He knows he’s going down.  He just wants to live out his remaining days being able to go pee and poop at the proper time, not in his pants nor his bed or the reverse extreme, not at all.

So, once after I assisted him to lower himself onto the toilet, I said to him, “I love you, brother.”  Then before he left my office, he looked me in the eyes with the sincerity of a dying man, put his arm around me, and said, “I love you too.”

Now he was having trouble DRIVING recently and his wife was going to bring him (dragging both her feet).  I said, “Bring her to my office because I’d love to MEET her!” Thus, I finally got to meet her in person.


I couldn’t see her face due to her mask, just felt her icy stare.  I explained to her that whether she knew it or not, that I am her ally, not her enemy.  The sum of her fear she expressed was that David was coming “too often” for colonics, sometimes TWICE PER MONTH, and that he was getting worse, not better.  Her paradigm was taking shape and there was almost nothing I could say which wouldn’t be used against me, while David just sat quietly.  I said, “It comes down to whether your husband is of sound mind.  Is he?”

She nodded yes.

I asked him, “Are you of sound mind?”

He laughed.

Then his wife said, “He’s dehydrated.”

Suddenly I got it– She’d done some research.

I replied, “I see.  You are referring to Dr. Oz giving colon hygiene a thumbs-down because it ‘dehydrates the body.'”

She said, “And the Mayo Clinic, Web MD, and a lot of others.”

I asked her, “And it makes sense that you would believe that, because you do, right?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“And you can’t see the irony,” I asked her, “That ‘hydration’ is water and the filtered water used during a colonic enters an organ which absorbs water?”

She shook her head, no.  What she failed to realize, and for which there was not enough time to convey, is the same thing which children can’t fathom about me as an adult, that I was once a child too.  I remember when I would have had total faith in the medical industry, plus farming and food production.  I’ve even sprayed my skin, before I understood chemicals, with bug KILLER, to not just REPEL insects, but to DESTROY them.  Bug killer says right on the can it’s safe for humans.

So it’s not just logic, but FAITH that gets us in trouble.  We can’t fathom that there are teams of writers out there employed by advertising and publicity agencies to FOOL us, which doesn’t require much effort.  ANY statement put out by the Mayo Clinic “has been tested and retested over and over for validity,” we believe, including that putting water into an organ which absorbs water will dehydrate the body.  They do this, not just to insult intelligence, but to thumb their noses at their “enemies” who actually know better and what this whole game is about.

They say, “We’ll put you down in the most absurdist fashion and there’s not one thing you can do about it.  We’ll have the good people of your town hanging up on you when you are returning their call, that’s how absurd we can make society and we’ll do it to you.”

And so it was, that the medical system didn’t even need to document anything coming from their absurdist mouths.  There are no CLINICAL STUDIES around colon hygiene.  Nobody can point to medical research on the topic because there is none.  When doctors say that colon hygiene depletes the body of beneficial bacteria, there is not ONE substantiating study behind that, and again, this insults the most basic intelligence that water could flush a significant number of bacteria out the butt when the entire system is chock full of trillions everywhere, nor acknowledges that ANTIBIOTICS (medicines) kill beneficial bacteria on a scale that’s nuclear and systemic, affecting the blood and all internal organs, while colonics, not so much.

What I mean is, their data is frequently FAKE and has been for a long time.

When I went home, I Googled “colonic and dehydration” and pulled-up all medical bullshit that “a colonic will dehydrate the human body.”  Page One, all medical, all dire warnings.  I’ve been giving colonics for almost twenty years, not had one adverse reaction, and this is true for 99.9% other colon hygienists too.

What irks me about this current pandemic is all THIS SAME worn out age-old propaganda tactics which insult intelligence and drives attitude and policy.  They think they are in total control now and will censure this post into obscurity too.  I’ve seen it for what it is and it’s still difficult for me to BELIEVE is happening.

I’ll be opting out of the madness for just as long as I am able, and yes, helping others be their best from outside the box.


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